Stress and Positivity

Stress, they say it's a killer. Well, I'm too young to die. How to be positive when the stress gets too much...is that even possible? I am the kind of person who dislikes being negative. Some would beg to differ, but then they really don't know me. Everyone goes through alot of bad things in life, well almost everyone. Bad is determined by each individual person, what's bad to them might be acceptable for you. That kind of thing. Well, I've been through my share of tears, of emotions, of stress, and some days I wonder when that will end.  End? that would be called death. Everything in life is stressing. Do I need to find new ways to manage my stress? Yes, it's an everyday adventure. Here I am sitting, early in the morning thinking, "hey, life is pretty great right now, our finances are good, our family is good for the most part, time to relax a little." Then life throws one of those famous curve balls and is like, " ha ha  your life is going to smoothly right now, how bout a flat tire in the middle of nowhere on your way to work." Yes, this very thing happened to my husband. He's our only source of income. This potentially could of put us $138 behind on rent week. If it weren't for my amazing mother who drove to save the day, and also my preparedness by having road side assist on my insurance. So right now I'm crossing my fingers hoping everything with work out and the crisis will be resolved. I'm trying not to feel so angry at a friend of my husbands who could have turned around to help him, but chose not too. I can't let stress get the best of me. Positivity is important here. I'm alive and that is all. :)

Thankfulness

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is already over, this year has come and gone so fast. Parts of me looks back and says,"Man, I have wasted so many days and so much valuable time." While that may be true, I need to stop reminiscing on the past, because that alone is a waste of valuable time. 
Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for everything you have and the good things that have happened to you. 
This year has really dealt my husband and I a bad deck of cards, but we have gotten through everything together, alive and healthy. That is something to be grateful for. We have good friends and family, a roof over our head, an income that allows for that, and life is good. Sometimes I lose sight of what I have to be thankful for, especially when times get tough, and they seem unfair. Do you ever catch yourself saying,"Why does this happen to me?" You just got to think hey maybe its because I'm strong enough to handle this where as someone else may not be, or its a lesson needed to be learned to make you a stronger, and better person. This year has been a wake up call in my life. I've started doing arts and crafts to channel my creative energy, and have been listening to music without as much prejudice. Life is too short. 
This Thanksgiving we got to see most of my husbands family and had a good time. We are celebrating with my family this weekend, due to my father having to work, and my 80 year old Grandfather being sick in the hospital. We have all been worried, but alot of his health problems have been bothering him for years. He's been in my prayers. Just proves you have to be grateful for everyday you are alive and healthy:)

Autumn Is Here At Last

November is here already. These last 2 months have really flown by. So many things have been happening. Some of those things have been the hardest things I've ever had to deal with physically and emotionally. 

In the middle of September my husband and I found out we were expecting a child. We were both overwhelmed with joy, happiness, and excitement. We started living smarter financially and physically. We ate healthier, slept at a more normal regiment. I made sure to rest when I was tired, eat healthy foods, I even quit drinking soda(which is a huge accomplishment for me.) Right before we found out, about a month before actually, we were involved in a car accident, which made it no longer possible for me to work as a hair stylist. Our lives were changed then. We were faced with alot of stress from all of the legalities of it, stress from our families. Stress stress and more stress. So when we found out I was expecting, it wasn't stress for us. It was pure happiness. 

Then October came and sad news was upon us again. I recently miscarried. It was heartbreaking and devastating. I have always been a strong individual, atleast I would like to think so. I didn't cry too much. I didn't show it on the outside, and I still don't, but I was heartbroken. I know, and have been told by several people, that it happened for a reason, God was watching, and something probably wasn't right. I know this to be true, but at the same time I feel such anger towards life. So many people have babies when they don't deserve them or even want them. Here I am, a healthy person, someone who doesn't do drugs, someone who's not 15 years old, and I miscarried. Here I am a woman who's main dream in life is to have 2 to 3 beautiful children. I felt so angry, it seem so unfair. That's just the hurt behind it. I know that there's a reason for everything, and I know one day I will have a healthy child of my own dealing with it isn't that easy, but every day it gets better. I'm just grateful for my family and friends who are there for me:) I spent a little bit in the hospital after the miscarriage because I needed a blood transfusion. It was a very scary and traumatic experience, but my health is back up to par, and I feel better than before. 

I'm already planning to spend the rest of my life enjoying life. I've learned that it shouldn't be taken forgranted.

<3

Brittani