Autumn Is Here At Last

November is here already. These last 2 months have really flown by. So many things have been happening. Some of those things have been the hardest things I've ever had to deal with physically and emotionally. 

In the middle of September my husband and I found out we were expecting a child. We were both overwhelmed with joy, happiness, and excitement. We started living smarter financially and physically. We ate healthier, slept at a more normal regiment. I made sure to rest when I was tired, eat healthy foods, I even quit drinking soda(which is a huge accomplishment for me.) Right before we found out, about a month before actually, we were involved in a car accident, which made it no longer possible for me to work as a hair stylist. Our lives were changed then. We were faced with alot of stress from all of the legalities of it, stress from our families. Stress stress and more stress. So when we found out I was expecting, it wasn't stress for us. It was pure happiness. 

Then October came and sad news was upon us again. I recently miscarried. It was heartbreaking and devastating. I have always been a strong individual, atleast I would like to think so. I didn't cry too much. I didn't show it on the outside, and I still don't, but I was heartbroken. I know, and have been told by several people, that it happened for a reason, God was watching, and something probably wasn't right. I know this to be true, but at the same time I feel such anger towards life. So many people have babies when they don't deserve them or even want them. Here I am, a healthy person, someone who doesn't do drugs, someone who's not 15 years old, and I miscarried. Here I am a woman who's main dream in life is to have 2 to 3 beautiful children. I felt so angry, it seem so unfair. That's just the hurt behind it. I know that there's a reason for everything, and I know one day I will have a healthy child of my own dealing with it isn't that easy, but every day it gets better. I'm just grateful for my family and friends who are there for me:) I spent a little bit in the hospital after the miscarriage because I needed a blood transfusion. It was a very scary and traumatic experience, but my health is back up to par, and I feel better than before. 

I'm already planning to spend the rest of my life enjoying life. I've learned that it shouldn't be taken forgranted.

<3

Brittani